Very nice comparison in the introduction makes a great hook for you essay, and overall the ideas are stated clearly. It's interesting how you view the story How Much Land Does a Man Need? as a command economy, because most of us think it relates to a market economy. Anyway, yet short you have al the elements required (even though you can make it better by expanding more, like connecting to real world in the first body paragraph) Anyway, great job!
Nice one, Lucky. You did a great job in the intro when you give us a great hook from the beginning. Then, your ideas in the first body-paragraph is cool. The details and elements are connected and flow smoothly. I liked the quote you chose your write, too. You can split the second body-paragraph into 2, so it'll be more easy and more convincible. Your concluson is deeply shown us how you think about it. Great job, anyway.
Great essay Lucky! You have good evidences to prove your thesis. Based on your information, i honestly think that you really can convince people to think the way you think. You give readers good details when you prove your thesis with "How Much Land Does A Man Need". Great Essay Lucky, good job.
Great essay, Lucky. I loved the hook in your introduction, it wanted me to read the rest of your essay. I think your comparison with "How Much Land Does A Man Need" really helped with the explaining of a command economy and how it makes a country poor. I also liked your example about China. The example proved that you used your knowledge from social studies. Great job.
Very nice comparison in the introduction makes a great hook for you essay, and overall the ideas are stated clearly. It's interesting how you view the story How Much Land Does a Man Need? as a command economy, because most of us think it relates to a market economy. Anyway, yet short you have al the elements required (even though you can make it better by expanding more, like connecting to real world in the first body paragraph) Anyway, great job!
ReplyDeleteNice one, Lucky. You did a great job in the intro when you give us a great hook from the beginning. Then, your ideas in the first body-paragraph is cool. The details and elements are connected and flow smoothly. I liked the quote you chose your write, too. You can split the second body-paragraph into 2, so it'll be more easy and more convincible. Your concluson is deeply shown us how you think about it. Great job, anyway.
ReplyDeleteGreat essay Lucky! You have good evidences to prove your thesis. Based on your information, i honestly think that you really can convince people to think the way you think. You give readers good details when you prove your thesis with "How Much Land Does A Man Need". Great Essay Lucky, good job.
ReplyDeleteGreat essay, Lucky. I loved the hook in your introduction, it wanted me to read the rest of your essay. I think your comparison with "How Much Land Does A Man Need" really helped with the explaining of a command economy and how it makes a country poor. I also liked your example about China. The example proved that you used your knowledge from social studies. Great job.
ReplyDelete